Thursday, September 4, 2014

There should only be one strike

It’s no surprise to anyone that I have an amazing dating life. I really attract the cream of the crop and for whatever reason, always give guys a second chance.

Earlier this year I had gone on a few dates with a fella. We were really hitting it off, but then out of the blue, after the third date, he completely disappeared.

You remember I have a three date curse right? Haven’t made it past three dates in over a year. I’m sure it’s all me too. It’s definitely not the guys.

Then one day, said man texted me and told me he had met someone the night after our third date and something in his gut told him he shouldn’t see anyone else and focus his time and energy on her.

I was proud of him for finally telling me what was up, but it was a blow. Knowing we had spent three dates getting to know each other and after just one night he wanted to give all his time to another girl.

Months passed and I went on my merry way. Enjoyed the Summer as a single gal. Frolicking around Minneapolis and the lake, just waiting for my prince charming to come galloping in.

As Summer started to wrap up, I found myself on Ok Cupid and who do I see? Mr. Follow My Gut. And he messaged me to ask me out! Oh thank the high heavens my dreams came true! He came back to me.

You know what they say “If you like someone set them free, if they come back they are yours”, or some b.s. like that.

I agreed. But was this a 1st date or a 4th?

The date was beyond awkward. He went to the wrong apartment building to pick me up. He got lost getting to this restaurant he says he’s been to many times. He played on his phone all through dinner. We went to a comedy show, but moved seats three times before he found the perfect spot for his royal hiney. And, we left the comedy show early. When he dropped me off, there was no hug or kiss, instead he pulled out his phone and whilst looking at his phone, said he’d like to get together again.

The weird thing is, he is the one who asked me out. He kept saying he was the winner because I said I’d go out with him again. He said he’d been wanting to ask me out ever since Gut Feeling Girl didn’t work out.

So, did I make him nervous? Uncomfortable? I’ll never know…

I said to myself I’d go out with him again for a 2nd/5th date because the first two dates were really awesome so I’d give it another chance.

But in protecting myself from being left for another Gut Feeling, I wanted to know where he was coming from. I asked if he was actively dating and that I would hope if we went out a few more times that we would be exclusive to give it a fair chance.

Cause, ya know, Gut Feeling Girl got him after one night. Of course this wouldn’t be an issue and he’d agree because we’d have been out 5/10 times (depending on the math).

His response? I barely know you. We are not boyfriend and girlfriend. You’re too reserved.

Hmm...being exclusive doesn’t mean you have to be bf/gf. You asked me out, remember? So if you don’t know anything about me, how did you know you wanted to go out again?

I found this interesting because it all went down while watching an episode of Bachelor in Paradise where Clare was trying to figure out where she stands with Zach. He didn’t want her to accept a date from a newbie coming in, yet he wanted to be able to pursue other opportunities that might show up in paradise.

I don’t understand the double standard where it’s not ok for the girl to continue to date because she’s then easy, or playing games. If a guy wants to date you but also pursue new ladies, it’s somehow ok?

Please, men, tell me how your minds work. You might just be more difficult to crack than us ladies.

1 comment:

  1. Ugh - I remember this game so well! I had a one month curse - didn't matter how many dates I went on with them, it never lasted more than a month. I think you will know you found a winner when you don't even have to ask questions - you'll just know that he enjoys spending time with you and that he isn't spending time with anyone else!