Thursday, June 12, 2014

Why The Bachelor/Bachelorette Might Not Be Too Far Off

As a minority here in blog land, i.e. single, I come here and share a bit about my dating life or lack there of. And, as a woman, I believe it is a requirement that I watch every season of The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, The Bachelor Pad, and whatever this new show is about - Bachelor in Paradise? It got me thinking, The Bachelor franchise might not be too far off with their shows. Let me explain.

Once upon a time I went to a country music fest in Northern Minnesota. There is nothing about the 5 day experience that is 'real life'. Living in a tent, bathing in a lake with a bunch of dudes, McD's for breakfast every morning, Nooners every day at, well, noon, top country artist concerts every night followed by fireworks. Line dancing to Carrie Underwood and realize a strange man is peeing on your leg. Total fantasy.
WeFest Circa 2007
Clearly you are in a fairy tale land and sparks will fly. One day, sparks flew and I was head over cowboy boots for a man I met at WeFest. On paper, this guy was everything I didn't want. Had a child, was in the military, lived in South Dakota, was older than my comfortable dating age-range, etc. Somehow we were hooked on each other in just days. WeFest ended and every week one of us would make the 5 hour drive to see each other. We didn't have 'real life' getting in the way with work or school. We didn't have to plan out which nights of the week we could get together. After a few months, I moved to South Dakota and we lived together for a couple years, still not really having 'real life' come between when we would see each other because we shacked up. We were each other's schedules.

In the long run it's a blessing that this relationship didn't work out, because now I'm home where I belong, but when you have what feels like a 'fantasy' beginning and you don't have to worry about 'real life' getting in the way, it really allows you to get to know someone.

That's exactly why I think The Bachelor franchise might be on to something. A fair lady starts with 25 gents and quickly narrows it down to 19. Week after week they all live in a mansion, go on amazing dates, don't have work, bills or yard maintenance to worry about, and life is grand!

I do believe you can quickly go through and weed out the ones you know you aren't interested in. I went on a lunch date last week, and before we even ordered lunch, I knew that we wouldn't see each other again.

After a few weeks the lucky lady and her gents are whisked away to some far off land where flights probably cost $3,000 per gent and the fair lady is riding first class.

Those costs are not realistic. And...what's first class??

Feelings are starting to form and lots of tears shed. Who's really here for the right reason? Oh well, come meet my entire family and my dogs grandpa.

Hometown dates mean bringing your beau to meet the rents. I've had 3.5 bf's meet my parents in my 29 years of life. It takes lots and lots of dates before parents and beaus meet in my world. Guess that's because I can't get past a 3rd date.

Hey, now that you've met my parents, lets go on an island vacation, get a real swanky fantasy suite and fill the room with rose petals and candles and champs. There must be champs so the gent can lay his fair lady.

This is where I think the fantasy suite should be just between the final two. Adding a third is just trashy. Plus, who really has equal feelings between three guys? I think, nay, know it's possible with two gents. But three? No.

Now that the fair lady knows how her gents peckers work, she feels it is ok to introduce them to her family.

Mystery solved! I know why I haven't been able to get past a third date. I don't know how their peckers work!

The gent is grilled with questions about love and if he wants a family.He usually brings flowers for mom and she is so impressed.

Truth be told, my mom would probably ask if you want kids etc. seeing as I'm pushing 30 and she (and daddio) are itching for some grandkids. In the mean time, feel free to bring some Busch Light and a Bota Box - Pinot Grig.

The time has come when the fair lady must choose her gent and accept his proposal if he so chooses that route.

He could go the Juan Pablo route and ask the fair lady if she would like to be his girlfriend?

Now that there is one gent left filling the ocean with salty tears (or jumping up and down because he'll be the next bachelor), there is a happy couple that gets to continue their fantasy life by hiding out in secret hotels until the finale airs.

I imagine they lay around in plush hotel robes popping champs, eating strawberries and cheeseburgers in bed and then take duo bubble baths in the 6 person jacuzzi to wash the mustard off their faces.

When you have that much time to talk and spend with your gent, you aren't thinking about 'real life', you're focused on that one person.

Granted like 84% of these relationships don't work out (true 16% made it!), but look at the ones that have. Have there been any bachelor divorces? No. In fact, a ton of the relationships lasted quite a while.

Since we all don't get to live in these fantasy worlds while finding the lucky man who will put a ring on it, I think there should be 'real life' dating rules that everyone has to follow. Here, I'll get the rules list started.

1. If you meet online and go on more than two dates, then don't plan other dates in the mean time and take the time to see where this goes by giving the one person your full attention.

2. By the end of the first date, you know if you want to see the person again. So, if you go on a second, third or (cross your fingers) a fourth date, and you find yourself no longer interested, please, be kind and rewind be a man/woman and just say you aren't feeling it.

3. Don't be a dbag and say you'll get in touch to plan the next date when you know there won't be one. Send them on their rose less way so they get the point.

4. If your schedule really doesn't allow you the time or flexibility to date, please, help woman around the world save their tears for when you really eff up, and just don't date.

5. WARNING: Never tell a girl you talked about her to your family when they asked if you were dating anyone. This just gets her hopes up and as we've learned, guys love to stop on hope as much as they love watching Kate Upton jump up and down in a bikini in slow motion.

Those are my rules for now. Do you have any? Or better yet, do you have a single brother, cousin, co-worker who is interested in dating just one person and seeing where that goes?

6 comments:

  1. Yay, for single lady bloggers, who are so hard to find nowadays! I too watch all of the bachelor/ette shows, and think that one of my married friends may be close to signing me up for the show, ha.

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  2. So this is pretty random, but I started following your blog a few weeks ago (fellow MN Blogger). I really don't know much about you, but I might know someone that is "datable"...it's my husband's {practically} step-brother. I've known him for roughly 8 years. He's a great guy - can be somewhat shy at first, LOVES the water (he just bought a boat), outdoorsy (hunts/fish), no kids, never been married, can cook amazing food, likes to have a good time, good looking.

    To be honest, I don't know a ton of what his dating life entails or what he's looking for in a girl. I just know that he's a really great guy with a big heart. He loves his nieces and nephews dearly and has a great relationship with his sister and dad (quite honestly don't know his relationship with his mom since that's rarely talked about with his dad dating my m-i-l).

    I've never been the setter-upper of anything like this, but if you want more info - let me know. So random, sorry if this is weird!

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    1. I'm an Mn blogger too, a couple weeks ago I share a bit about my dating life (i live in a small town, so have to be fairly vague). I completely agree with your rules, especially #5! Although I definitely break rule #1, I am all about playing the field, if a man wants to be exclusive with me, he needs to ask. More than likely I will say yes, but the asking needs to happen.

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  3. Just stumbled upon your blog! Love it! Totally agree with all of your dating rules! I have fam in Minnesota and visit all the time! Definitely following! :) Sorry to hear that your relationship with that guy didn't workout but like you said, it seems like it was for the best!!

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  4. I had a long distance relationship with a guy from MN (I'm in TX) for four years, so I know what you mean about the "real life" relationship versus the "weekend fun" relationship. I was ready to move up there but he chickened out and we called it quits (it was for the best I guess). I completely agree with your rules, too, and feel like I could add about 100 more. When I was online I constantly found the guy that just wanted to be my email or text buddy...really?!? Drove me nuts! I'm not on a dating website to make pen-pals! :)

    I give you props for sticking with it...I got frustrated and quit. Mr. Right will just have knock on my door (even though my best friends claim that wont happen).

    Totally laughing at your input on the Bachelor/ette shows...it's all so true! I had to stop watching, it was like reading the same book over and over, again. I still get sucked in from time-to-time, though!

    They say persistance pays off, so keep with it! You'll find the right one!

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