Friday, October 25, 2013

Dating in 2013

We all know that dating these days is very different from when our parents dated. They met the love of their lives in high school or worked together. They fell madly in love and have been together for 30+ years. Sadly, that's just not the way things work today.

Heck, even if you did meet your significant other in high school, chances that you are still together, sadly, are quite slim. The difference these days is the internet and the hundreds of different dating sites out there.

I've done them all, OK Cupid, Match, Plenty Of Fish, EHarmony, Tinder, etc.

As most stories of online dating begin, you start with a wink, that leads to an email, then exchanging phone numbers. You text each other, maybe a phone call to confirm the number exchanged, and you set up a date for drinks or dinner. You meet at the chosen destination and you lose all track of time. There's good chemistry and engaging conversation (score for you, you didn't get a dud!). Then the bill comes and you part ways with a hug and 'I'll talk to you later'.

The next day you send a 'thank you' text to show your interest and that you are not greedy and just looking for some free drinks or meal.  In most cases, you don't get a response. He didn't really mean 'I'll talk to you later', he was just being polite and letting you feel like a winner for the night.

On rare occasion you do get a second date, and maybe even a third and fourth. You continue to chat periodically to see if you get a response. As time goes by, you talk less and don't set up plans. You've been fizzled out.

At this stage in life, a lot of people are set in their ways and you are just not a part of their life (yet?). Or, where the usual problem lies, is that so many people are on dating sites, and most likely, multiple sites. The pool of potential dates is seemingly endless. Unless you're me.


I saw this image from Tinder twice in one day, in two different cities. Match? I've winked and emailed, and in 1.5 months have only received one response to an email. Even when the guy initiates conversation, they don't respond. Why? Because you are being compared to the next person he emailed. You are being compared to the next person who poked, winked, or matched this fella.

This person has a better smile or is thinner. She has an MBA or is a Doctor. Truth is, there is always someone better out there than you. But why do we all feel like we have to constantly be on the search for the biggest (or thinnest) and best thing out there? Why can't we see if what's right in front of us will work? While everyone is looking for perfection, you are losing the opportunity to make something else work. Something that could turn into perfection with a little time.

From my experience. Perfection on the outside is far from perfect on the inside. This idea of dating and always looking for something better, really puts a damper on ones confidence. What was wrong with me? Too fat? Too low maintenance? Too high maintenance (not likely)?? Bad personality?

I guess my whole point here is that dating now is rather pointless. Most people are just looking for something better until the next best thing comes along.

Fact: The guy who started Match, his wife left him for someone she met on Match. Betcha you're glad you started that site, eh, Mr. Match.com.


Disclaimer: This post was written in pure bitterness and complete hormonal mess.

2 comments:

  1. I completely agree. I wish dating was as simple as it was for our parents. Now we have to worry about social media, and deciphering text messages. It's exhausting!

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  2. I totally agree. Luckily, my boyfriend and I went through the Match process with the same idea in mind -- which is why it worked for us -- I don't think you can ever have a successful relationship when you're constantly dating around and comparing everyone under the (internet) sun. Dating one person at a time is such a foreign concept these days -- sorry you're having a rough go. Fun fact about Mr. Match though :)

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